Friday, January 6, 2012
Monday, January 2, 2012
Using the Eye that SEES...
When we use our physical eyes to look at our surroundings, we see
people, places and things. And since our physical eyes allow us to
discern colors, shapes and textures, we use them to help our minds to
compare and contrast each...separating one person, place or thing from
another....and also to categorize and place them into groups...in order
to make it easier for our minds to interact with those persons, places or things.
Over time, whether we realize it or not, we become so good at placing people, for example, into categories, we think we know them, the moment that we see them...and thus form an opinion about them, with little more than a tiny sliver of their lives (the little that we've seen) on which to go on.
So our physical eyes see that this person is "bad", and this one is "good or o,k". This one is "uneducated", "ghetto", "irresponsible", while this one "has it all together", is "smart", "needy". On FB, "I'll communicate with this one...because we have a lot in common..." but not "that one, because they're weird, or my friends may not understand..."
We tend to make our physical eyes....judge, jury and executioner...not only when dealing with others, but also ourselves. Or even worse....making the eyes of others and the opinions they form, rule every aspect of our lives. How can one find peace with this? You may be tired, exhausted with life itself...and never understanding why.
But there is a 3rd eye, a spiritual eye...which does not rely on that which the physical eyes see. And when we learn to use this eye, we begin to see that the people around us, are merely reflections of our own internal spirit. We see a part of ourselves in EVERYONE and EVERYTHING we come into contact with...we see our aspirations, our fears, our insecurities, our thoughts, our desires...etc.
We see people, places and things with our 3rd eye, when we realize that the the thoughts and emotions we feel when using our physical eyes to see around us...are really telling us about US and how we feel about....OURSELVES.
We then realize that we are NOT a slave to our emotions or thoughts, rather our emotions and thoughts are OUR tool and we have a CHOICE at any given moment of HOW we feel, and WHAT we think, and most importantly, HOW we think of others that are like us...and those who are "different".
We begin to realize that any separation between us, is of our own creation, and based on our own insecurities, and by letting go of this separation, we begin to more fully understand LOVE in its purest, agape, form.
We then have a better understanding of : "Love your neighbor as yourself...do good to those who despise you" Luke 6:27
It takes so much more than our physical eyes to be able to do this, but its as simple as closing them and seeing the "YOU" in everyone.
Over time, whether we realize it or not, we become so good at placing people, for example, into categories, we think we know them, the moment that we see them...and thus form an opinion about them, with little more than a tiny sliver of their lives (the little that we've seen) on which to go on.
So our physical eyes see that this person is "bad", and this one is "good or o,k". This one is "uneducated", "ghetto", "irresponsible", while this one "has it all together", is "smart", "needy". On FB, "I'll communicate with this one...because we have a lot in common..." but not "that one, because they're weird, or my friends may not understand..."
We tend to make our physical eyes....judge, jury and executioner...not only when dealing with others, but also ourselves. Or even worse....making the eyes of others and the opinions they form, rule every aspect of our lives. How can one find peace with this? You may be tired, exhausted with life itself...and never understanding why.
But there is a 3rd eye, a spiritual eye...which does not rely on that which the physical eyes see. And when we learn to use this eye, we begin to see that the people around us, are merely reflections of our own internal spirit. We see a part of ourselves in EVERYONE and EVERYTHING we come into contact with...we see our aspirations, our fears, our insecurities, our thoughts, our desires...etc.
We see people, places and things with our 3rd eye, when we realize that the the thoughts and emotions we feel when using our physical eyes to see around us...are really telling us about US and how we feel about....OURSELVES.
We then realize that we are NOT a slave to our emotions or thoughts, rather our emotions and thoughts are OUR tool and we have a CHOICE at any given moment of HOW we feel, and WHAT we think, and most importantly, HOW we think of others that are like us...and those who are "different".
We begin to realize that any separation between us, is of our own creation, and based on our own insecurities, and by letting go of this separation, we begin to more fully understand LOVE in its purest, agape, form.
We then have a better understanding of : "Love your neighbor as yourself...do good to those who despise you" Luke 6:27
It takes so much more than our physical eyes to be able to do this, but its as simple as closing them and seeing the "YOU" in everyone.
Friday, October 7, 2011
What about your FRIENDS?
The only difference between the puppet and the puppet master
is NOT who controls the strings. It is
what those strings actually represent in the lives of either. A puppet master can control the puppet strings
and still be a puppet, because it NEEDS strings in order to be a puppet master,
and it doesn’t realize that need IS
the string. Those who seek to manipulate
others for their own gain, are in just as much bondage and are being
manipulated as much as the ones they seek to manipulate. The puppet master needs a puppet in order to
even be a puppet master. The puppet
becomes the strings that control the puppet master, as it needs to be the
puppet master…it needs to feel like they are “above” others, like they are “better”
than others…like those who are your friend when you aren’t doing as well as
they are…but when you are in a better position in life, they flee from your
very presence. Uh oh!
Here we go...ready? Ok.
Have you ever had a friend whom you looked up to, one that
you had always admired…because, you know…they had it all together… and in many
ways you wanted to emulate them? You
looked at their life and it seemed so much better than yours at the time. Perhaps you never told them, but trust me…they
knew. It was always this “unspoken”
thing between you….but the roles each of you had in the life of the other were
always defined…yet unspoken. Someone was
the leader…and someone was the follower (who wanted to believe that they were
leading…as most followers do). Your
friend fed off of your insecurities, and they “filled” a void in your own life…a
void that YOU unknowingly created for yourself, and likewise the reverse is
also true.
But at some point…just at the point in your life where you
seemed to be moving forward and “getting things together”…something changes
between you two. You don’t talk as
frequently....daily conversations become weekly…monthly…until calls between you
two are altogether replaced by Facebook messages. “Hey girl, what’s up…where you been hiding?” Is the message you’ll get, but it translates
into: “You’ve been out of your lane too long…you need to get back in it…what, you
think you’re all that now?”
It’s like, you can’t put your finger on it, but you were
hoping that they would be happy for you….I mean…now that you two are more “equal”…and
they were happy for you…at least verbally.
Ah..but we
will know them by their fruits…their actions.
For some strange reason, the better your life “seems” to be going, the
less you seem to talk to them. Who
changed? Do you think they changed? What about you…did you not change?
Everyone is in our lives for a purpose, a reason, even if
that true reason is covered up by the insecurities of all involved. How you think of yourself, and specifically
in terms of NEED, creates voids in your life.
People are drawn into our lives, by US, to fill voids we create for
ourselves. You can SAY whatever you
want, but what you THINK is at the source of ALL speech. Because your thoughts are controlled by your
beliefs. What you believe about yourself
determines what and how you think. If
you think you are incomplete as a person, or that something is wrong with you,
you will see any and everything as a potential suitor to fill that void…to give
you what you think you lack. Not sure? Skeptical about this? That’s ok…I don’t mind. But test this out for yourself, as you
shouldn’t just take my word for it. Look
around you…not with just your eyes, but with your heart…with your spiritual
eyes. Those are the eyes that see truth,
and aren’t blinded by the falsehoods we tend to use to make ourselves FEEL
better about the people we associate with and why those people and things are really in our lives.
Look at your friends.
Think about where you were when they came into your life. How were you feeling about yourself? What was your situation? Did any of these friends get missing when
your situation changed? Whether for “good”
or for “bad”? When you were happy…did
they disappear? When you were sad…were
they there to “console” you? Were they really consoling you…or did you make them feel BETTER ABOUT THEMSELVES….really
think about that.
Marinate. Marinate. Marinate. Good. Ok...let's continue....
But no matter what the reason, we are responsible and
culpable for whom we draw into our lives.
It’s not your friend’s fault…we practically begged them to fill our void…of
course we never used those words. And
this doesn’t mean that you are not friends, or that you shouldn’t be
friends. But if you’re happy…and they
are gone…then you know why…and that’s all the better. If you are not happy with yourself…don’t
worry about changing your friends…they will evaporate like the tears we once
shed in our sadness...once you begin to love yourself as you should. When we love unconditionally, we never have
to feel used. When relationships are
conditional….being used is the name of the game.
--Dame
www.damemalone.com
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Are YOU that somebody?
We project to others, what we really think of ourselves in our heart of hearts. Our self image is the strongest spirit that we carry, and we carry it wherever we go. What you think of yourself, your mental self-image, is the part of you that you that often goes unnoticed, as we all tend to operate within our self-image, and depending on what that self-image is, or rather the degree that we are happy with our own self image, determines how often, if at all, we evaluate it.
Your self-image, some may call the "ego", determines what you think, how you think, what you say, and what you do. Its prominent in social situations, or when we are alone. It never leaves, as we tend to cling to it, as if though it was the very basis of the reality in which we live. Our self-image, also determines how others approach us and the type of treatment we are receiving from others.
I speak with so many individuals, male and female, concerning a very important item within their lives...relationships. A common theme or question that I receive, mostly from my female friends, is, "why can I not find that special someone, who has 'X' qualities and treats me like 'X'?"
A very valid question, yet the question is very telling when I hear it being asked. The fact that the question itself is being asked, gives me most of the clues I need in order to uncover the reason "this situation" actually "exists".
Whether you are a man or woman, perhaps you've asked this question yourself from time to time. Why can I not find that special someone? Or a question to that effect. We've all asked it...pondered it...more intensely when we've seen our friends in seemingly "near perfect" relationships. Perhaps a good friend of yours, or even a family member is involved in a relationship with a wonderful mate, and the happiness glows from their very being when they talk about their "significant other"....and although, you are happy for your friend or loved one, you cannot help but to be somewhat inquisitive about the reasons for your lack of happiness in your own relationship(s)....at least at this point in your life.
But we are going to begin to break that stronghold right now!
So how do I answer this very basic and common of questions concerning relationships, in my coaching experience? Well, I tend to answer this question with one of my own....
And its this question, that I feel is more important than the original question of "why can I not seem to find that special someone?" or even "when will I finally meet someone who has X,Y and Z, and is perfect for me?"
This question that I am about to ask isn't more important because I'm asking it, rather, its more important because of how it is answered, and even more importantly, the confidence by which it is answered by YOU.
Ready? Here is the question in response to "why can I not seem to meet that special somebody?" ":
ARE YOU THAT SPECIAL SOMEBODY?
Allow me to explain a bit. Assuming that you do know, as far as relationships go, what you are actually looking for in a mate (even if you don't this will still help), then picture certain aspects of that person and ask yourself, "am I the type of guy/girl that a person like this would love to be in a relationship with?" "I want that special somebody, but am I that somebody for them?"
Are you the woman/man that your perfect match would date? Honestly? At the risk of ruffling a few feathers, allow me to respond, thusly....no, you are not! Ruffled? Its ok..I don't mind. :-)
But the reason I can answer "no you are not", is because of the original question, "Why can't I...." It's not because there may be something "wrong" with you, or that you aren't doing the right things...its not because you aren't attractive, smart, a great lover, nurturer, or a wonderful cook. You are not that special somebody for your special somebody, because you essentially stated that you were not, if you began your question with, "why can't I..."
We have to always be mindful of our choice of words...not only those words that we speak, but just as important, those that we allow to flow through our minds!
"Why" is a very assumptive word at its basis. The word "why" followed by "can't" (an "inability" word) builds an assumption that our minds subconsciously accept as truth....that there is something inherent within you that precludes you from having a relationship with the person the likes of which you described. By asking "why, can't" or "why can I not", you are essentially saying and have accepted and believe about yourself,... that there IS something wrong with you...whether you realize it or not. But in actually there is nothing wrong with YOU, but there may be something very wrong about how you think about this...and it is driving your "special someone" AWAY from you!
Ask yourself this question, if you will...
Is the way that I think of myself, the words I tend to use when thinking of myself, and about what I want out of life, my actions, my overall positivity or negativity, my optimism or pessimism concerning who I am, and who I truly deserve to have in my life...are all of these aspects of me, attracting or repelling that "special man/woman"?
In other words, "am I that special lady for that special man?" "Am I the lady that this man would want in his life?" "What would I be to him?" "What would I be able to give him?" "What kind of woman would I be for him?" Is not a man such as this equally as concerned about what he is receiving from me, as well as what I receive from him?" "Wouldn't he know more about what I want from him, if I showed him by giving that very thing to him?" "Am I ready to do that?" If you have a problem answering these questions, then its possible that you aren't as sure about what you want as you thought you were.
The wonderful and fulfilling experience that "we" will have in a relationship, will be a combination of YOUR experience from me and MY experience from you. For this to be possible, I have to think as much about the wonderful experience that my mate receives from being with me, as I am about receiving a wonderful experience from them. In other words...I have to BE that which I desire.
Its been often stated that what we think of will "draw" more of that thing into our lives. But I believe that what we think of, we just tend to focus on more intensely...which in turn, causes us to recognize more of the thing, its signs and clues, much more readily than we would normally. And it is this fact that gives the appearance that we are drawing more of this thing into our lives. Now, I'm not saying that our thoughts don't draw things into our lives, I'm merely stating that its more true that our thoughts draw in our FOCUS, and it is our focus that determines what our experience will be, and what we see in front of us. To realize this is to realize that you can never allow yourself to be pessimistic about anything.
Everything exists already. Everything you want in life...the moment you allowed or dared yourself to imagine it...exists right now.
Our thoughts and words have so much power in our lives, and the lives of others. So perhaps instead of "why can't I find that special somebody?", the question you should ask yourself is "what can I do to be more ready for this wonderful person in my life?"
Your perfect match...is what you are matching with...perfectly. And what you think of yourself, determines what you project from your very being...and is what you will constantly see...good or bad.
Stay tuned for Part 2, when I give you the 3 things you can do right now to begin speaking a better life into existence!
Thanks for sharing this with those that could use some encouragement!
As always, I am available for one-on-one sessions. I encourage you to schedule yours today....just click Schedule a Session with Dame, or email me at mycoach@damemalone.com!
Your self-image, some may call the "ego", determines what you think, how you think, what you say, and what you do. Its prominent in social situations, or when we are alone. It never leaves, as we tend to cling to it, as if though it was the very basis of the reality in which we live. Our self-image, also determines how others approach us and the type of treatment we are receiving from others.
I speak with so many individuals, male and female, concerning a very important item within their lives...relationships. A common theme or question that I receive, mostly from my female friends, is, "why can I not find that special someone, who has 'X' qualities and treats me like 'X'?"
A very valid question, yet the question is very telling when I hear it being asked. The fact that the question itself is being asked, gives me most of the clues I need in order to uncover the reason "this situation" actually "exists".
Whether you are a man or woman, perhaps you've asked this question yourself from time to time. Why can I not find that special someone? Or a question to that effect. We've all asked it...pondered it...more intensely when we've seen our friends in seemingly "near perfect" relationships. Perhaps a good friend of yours, or even a family member is involved in a relationship with a wonderful mate, and the happiness glows from their very being when they talk about their "significant other"....and although, you are happy for your friend or loved one, you cannot help but to be somewhat inquisitive about the reasons for your lack of happiness in your own relationship(s)....at least at this point in your life.
But we are going to begin to break that stronghold right now!
So how do I answer this very basic and common of questions concerning relationships, in my coaching experience? Well, I tend to answer this question with one of my own....
And its this question, that I feel is more important than the original question of "why can I not seem to find that special someone?" or even "when will I finally meet someone who has X,Y and Z, and is perfect for me?"
This question that I am about to ask isn't more important because I'm asking it, rather, its more important because of how it is answered, and even more importantly, the confidence by which it is answered by YOU.
Ready? Here is the question in response to "why can I not seem to meet that special somebody?" ":
ARE YOU THAT SPECIAL SOMEBODY?
Allow me to explain a bit. Assuming that you do know, as far as relationships go, what you are actually looking for in a mate (even if you don't this will still help), then picture certain aspects of that person and ask yourself, "am I the type of guy/girl that a person like this would love to be in a relationship with?" "I want that special somebody, but am I that somebody for them?"
Are you the woman/man that your perfect match would date? Honestly? At the risk of ruffling a few feathers, allow me to respond, thusly....no, you are not! Ruffled? Its ok..I don't mind. :-)
But the reason I can answer "no you are not", is because of the original question, "Why can't I...." It's not because there may be something "wrong" with you, or that you aren't doing the right things...its not because you aren't attractive, smart, a great lover, nurturer, or a wonderful cook. You are not that special somebody for your special somebody, because you essentially stated that you were not, if you began your question with, "why can't I..."
We have to always be mindful of our choice of words...not only those words that we speak, but just as important, those that we allow to flow through our minds!
"Why" is a very assumptive word at its basis. The word "why" followed by "can't" (an "inability" word) builds an assumption that our minds subconsciously accept as truth....that there is something inherent within you that precludes you from having a relationship with the person the likes of which you described. By asking "why, can't" or "why can I not", you are essentially saying and have accepted and believe about yourself,... that there IS something wrong with you...whether you realize it or not. But in actually there is nothing wrong with YOU, but there may be something very wrong about how you think about this...and it is driving your "special someone" AWAY from you!
Ask yourself this question, if you will...
Is the way that I think of myself, the words I tend to use when thinking of myself, and about what I want out of life, my actions, my overall positivity or negativity, my optimism or pessimism concerning who I am, and who I truly deserve to have in my life...are all of these aspects of me, attracting or repelling that "special man/woman"?
In other words, "am I that special lady for that special man?" "Am I the lady that this man would want in his life?" "What would I be to him?" "What would I be able to give him?" "What kind of woman would I be for him?" Is not a man such as this equally as concerned about what he is receiving from me, as well as what I receive from him?" "Wouldn't he know more about what I want from him, if I showed him by giving that very thing to him?" "Am I ready to do that?" If you have a problem answering these questions, then its possible that you aren't as sure about what you want as you thought you were.
The wonderful and fulfilling experience that "we" will have in a relationship, will be a combination of YOUR experience from me and MY experience from you. For this to be possible, I have to think as much about the wonderful experience that my mate receives from being with me, as I am about receiving a wonderful experience from them. In other words...I have to BE that which I desire.
Its been often stated that what we think of will "draw" more of that thing into our lives. But I believe that what we think of, we just tend to focus on more intensely...which in turn, causes us to recognize more of the thing, its signs and clues, much more readily than we would normally. And it is this fact that gives the appearance that we are drawing more of this thing into our lives. Now, I'm not saying that our thoughts don't draw things into our lives, I'm merely stating that its more true that our thoughts draw in our FOCUS, and it is our focus that determines what our experience will be, and what we see in front of us. To realize this is to realize that you can never allow yourself to be pessimistic about anything.
Everything exists already. Everything you want in life...the moment you allowed or dared yourself to imagine it...exists right now.
Our thoughts and words have so much power in our lives, and the lives of others. So perhaps instead of "why can't I find that special somebody?", the question you should ask yourself is "what can I do to be more ready for this wonderful person in my life?"
Your perfect match...is what you are matching with...perfectly. And what you think of yourself, determines what you project from your very being...and is what you will constantly see...good or bad.
Stay tuned for Part 2, when I give you the 3 things you can do right now to begin speaking a better life into existence!
Thanks for sharing this with those that could use some encouragement!
As always, I am available for one-on-one sessions. I encourage you to schedule yours today....just click Schedule a Session with Dame, or email me at mycoach@damemalone.com!
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
There are too many of them...its now time to CALL THEM OUT BY NAME!
As a life coach, I have plenty of conversations with individuals about their dreams, goals and aspirations. There is very little that I enjoy more than hearing one of my clients talk about what they want out of life, and what they want to accomplish in their lifetime. Its wonderful to see how their mood lifts while they are discussing their aspirations, and since I'm very sensitive to it, how their vocal inflections change. However, as is often the case in these conversations with my friends (I really don't like to refer to them as "clients"...I feel its too clinical a term for the type of partnership we have), we will reach a part of the discussion concerning their goals, that can be described as a "roadblock" to achieving them. Its that "thing", sometimes easily identified..sometimes not so easy (which is where I come in), that has kept my friend's dreams and aspirations from becoming reality in their life now.
We all have, have had, or will have that "thing", as it comes in many different forms, and seemingly at the worst possible times, to throw us off the track to our dreams. This "thing" knows our weaknesses, what we are lacking in our abilities or in our education....it knows the life circumstances that have led to our perceived failures in life which many of us see as the source of our perceived failure in meeting our highest goals.
Again, that "thing" comes in many different forms...past mistakes/failures, life circumstances, family/friends, lack of support/education, teenage pregnancy, undesireable location, age (too old...to young), health problems, bad habits, past drug abuse, criminal record, abusive spouse, bad relationships, lack of mentorship, lack of time, lack of motivation...the list goes on and on. Perhaps you are personally familiar with how these "things" can have a debilitating effect on your dreams and goals, as they entered your life at one point or another, or perhaps you are dealing with some, several, many or even ALL of these "things" right now. And if you've been able to identify these "things" as roadblocks to your success, then you have taken the first step in removing them as a roadblock. But as I'm sure you are aware, identifying the "thing" and not allowing that "thing" to hinder your progress are entirely different entities altogether. And as is the case with many "things" in life..."things" aren't always what they appear to be....and the reality is much deeper. Speaking of deeper...
In the gospel of St. Mark, chapter 5, Jesus and his disciples met a man who was possessed by demons and had been living amongst the tombs in the area. Many previous attempts had been made by the townspeople to restrain this wild man with ropes and chains, but he would break them ropes and chains every time and was much too powerful for anyone to restrain. In verse 5, the bible says "and always, night and day, in the tombs and in the mountians, he was crying out and cutting himself with stones."
When the demon-possessed man saw Jesus from afar, the bible says that he "ran and worshipped him". Jesus then told the spirt within the man, "Out! Get out of the man!", to which the demon-possessed man replied, "what business do you have with me, Jesus, I swear to God, don't torment me!" Jesus then replied, "Tell me your name!", to which the man said "My name is Legion, for there are many of us inside this man!", and the spirits within the man begged Jesus not to send them into the abyss, but to allow them to enter into some pigs that were nearby. Jesus granted the spirits' request, and they entered into the pigs and caused the pigs to stampede over a cliff and die. Later, the townspeople were shocked to see this man, who had been untamable, inconsolable, distraught, disturbed, in a state of total confusion and self-loathing...and inflicting more suffering on himself by cutting his body with stones, now sitting and speaking normally, dressed in decent clothing.
I've always found this particular story in the bible to be fascinating, as instead of "a" (single) spirit inhabiting an individual...in this case there were many or "Legion". As I've grown older, and within the capacity in which I help people, I find myself constantly reminded of it, and see these many spirits that had possessed the man, as the "things" that seem to possess us.
You see, its never the circumstance, or situation, that is most likely to stand as a roadblock to our true calling in life. Its not the single parenthood, the dropping out of high-school or college, the abusive relationship, the friends that tend to keep us away from our true purpose, our constant need for the approval of or attention from others, the financial distress that we face, the fear of failure resulting from past missteps....that actually hold us back from our dreams and goals...rather it is the effect that those circumstances have on HOW we think, WHAT we think, WHO we think we are, and WHERE we believe we can go in this life today, that is the "THING" or the LEGION of "things" that we must identify as the true culprit.
The power that any negative event, circumstance, situation, occurence, or influence has on us and our ability to achieve our highest purpose in life, is directly proportional to the power we give to it...or them.
Whatever power we have given the "thing" to have authority over our state of mind, actually ends up becoming the SPIRIT that dwells within us, and they can be MANY...a LEGION!
Those spirits, that LEGION has been entrenched within many of us for so long. Having us living amongst the tombs....where the bodies of our people are found shot by senseless gang violence, but LEGION speaks and says "Stop Sniching"..."don't tell the police...handle it in the tombs".
Those spirits, that LEGION, has crack infecting our communities with such devastating force as to cause those within its grips to neglect their children, steal for it...kill for it...destroying relationships and even hope itself, and even while within the very throws of genocide, many of our children see the enemy, the one who distributes this deadly substance into our communities, the crack dealer, as someone to be cheered, especially when they make a rap album glorifying crack dealing. And many of those young people and even adults, will buy the albums and support that which destroys them. LEGION says, "cut your body with ROCKS (crack)".
Many times when you try to tell some of those young people about the devastating effects and hypnotic suggestion in some of those rap lyrics glorifying crack-dealing and violence against one another, they'll tell you, "its just music...keeping it real...its just how it is in the hood (tombs)". LEGION says, "what do you want with me....don't torment me!" But its not our children that are evil, its the spirit...or better yet....LEGION of spirits that have free reign to enter into the STATE-OF-MIND of our children and have them speaking horribly to each other as well as to adults, harming themselves and other, rejecting what would be common-sense, unrestrainable, disturbed, and in the midst of self-loathing and low self-esteem, sagging their pants as if that were normal dress. LEGION. But after Jesus had healed the man, he was found "speaking normally and dressed in decent clothing."
Its time that we call things for what they are. Or better yet...CALL THEM OUT!
What spirits have taken refuge within your mind? What have they told you about yourself? Do they speak to you and tell you to believe in yourself...that you can do anything....ALL THINGS...to believe in the power within you that is greater than any power outside of you? Or is it reminding you of past mistakes, past missteps, what you lack, why you aren't good enough, why achieving your highest purpose is for others....not for you?
Does that spirit that speaks inside of you, uplift you? Or does it cause you to harm your own body (internally or externally)? When someone who cares for you, tries to tell you about what is happening to you, does the spirit inside of you tell you to tell them "What business is it of yours? Mind your own business! Don't bother me with all of that love, faith and spirit stuff!" Does it make you turn away from what you KNOW is true...is best..is your purpose?
Listen to your thoughts as if you were a 3rd party observer and identify those that are damaging you. What you hear yourself think, when you are actually monitoring the thoughts, can be enlightening...and if you begin to speak those thoughts that you identify as contrary to your true purpose, OUT OF YOUR MIND and cast them away, you will then find your purpose was right in front of you all along.
But many times its hard to do...because we try to do it all on our own. But don't go into this battle by yourself...because its just one of you....but your thoughts are MANY!
Be Healed, Be Blessed, Be Your Purpose!
Dame
We all have, have had, or will have that "thing", as it comes in many different forms, and seemingly at the worst possible times, to throw us off the track to our dreams. This "thing" knows our weaknesses, what we are lacking in our abilities or in our education....it knows the life circumstances that have led to our perceived failures in life which many of us see as the source of our perceived failure in meeting our highest goals.
Again, that "thing" comes in many different forms...past mistakes/failures, life circumstances, family/friends, lack of support/education, teenage pregnancy, undesireable location, age (too old...to young), health problems, bad habits, past drug abuse, criminal record, abusive spouse, bad relationships, lack of mentorship, lack of time, lack of motivation...the list goes on and on. Perhaps you are personally familiar with how these "things" can have a debilitating effect on your dreams and goals, as they entered your life at one point or another, or perhaps you are dealing with some, several, many or even ALL of these "things" right now. And if you've been able to identify these "things" as roadblocks to your success, then you have taken the first step in removing them as a roadblock. But as I'm sure you are aware, identifying the "thing" and not allowing that "thing" to hinder your progress are entirely different entities altogether. And as is the case with many "things" in life..."things" aren't always what they appear to be....and the reality is much deeper. Speaking of deeper...
In the gospel of St. Mark, chapter 5, Jesus and his disciples met a man who was possessed by demons and had been living amongst the tombs in the area. Many previous attempts had been made by the townspeople to restrain this wild man with ropes and chains, but he would break them ropes and chains every time and was much too powerful for anyone to restrain. In verse 5, the bible says "and always, night and day, in the tombs and in the mountians, he was crying out and cutting himself with stones."
When the demon-possessed man saw Jesus from afar, the bible says that he "ran and worshipped him". Jesus then told the spirt within the man, "Out! Get out of the man!", to which the demon-possessed man replied, "what business do you have with me, Jesus, I swear to God, don't torment me!" Jesus then replied, "Tell me your name!", to which the man said "My name is Legion, for there are many of us inside this man!", and the spirits within the man begged Jesus not to send them into the abyss, but to allow them to enter into some pigs that were nearby. Jesus granted the spirits' request, and they entered into the pigs and caused the pigs to stampede over a cliff and die. Later, the townspeople were shocked to see this man, who had been untamable, inconsolable, distraught, disturbed, in a state of total confusion and self-loathing...and inflicting more suffering on himself by cutting his body with stones, now sitting and speaking normally, dressed in decent clothing.
I've always found this particular story in the bible to be fascinating, as instead of "a" (single) spirit inhabiting an individual...in this case there were many or "Legion". As I've grown older, and within the capacity in which I help people, I find myself constantly reminded of it, and see these many spirits that had possessed the man, as the "things" that seem to possess us.
You see, its never the circumstance, or situation, that is most likely to stand as a roadblock to our true calling in life. Its not the single parenthood, the dropping out of high-school or college, the abusive relationship, the friends that tend to keep us away from our true purpose, our constant need for the approval of or attention from others, the financial distress that we face, the fear of failure resulting from past missteps....that actually hold us back from our dreams and goals...rather it is the effect that those circumstances have on HOW we think, WHAT we think, WHO we think we are, and WHERE we believe we can go in this life today, that is the "THING" or the LEGION of "things" that we must identify as the true culprit.
The power that any negative event, circumstance, situation, occurence, or influence has on us and our ability to achieve our highest purpose in life, is directly proportional to the power we give to it...or them.
Whatever power we have given the "thing" to have authority over our state of mind, actually ends up becoming the SPIRIT that dwells within us, and they can be MANY...a LEGION!
Those spirits, that LEGION has been entrenched within many of us for so long. Having us living amongst the tombs....where the bodies of our people are found shot by senseless gang violence, but LEGION speaks and says "Stop Sniching"..."don't tell the police...handle it in the tombs".
Those spirits, that LEGION, has crack infecting our communities with such devastating force as to cause those within its grips to neglect their children, steal for it...kill for it...destroying relationships and even hope itself, and even while within the very throws of genocide, many of our children see the enemy, the one who distributes this deadly substance into our communities, the crack dealer, as someone to be cheered, especially when they make a rap album glorifying crack dealing. And many of those young people and even adults, will buy the albums and support that which destroys them. LEGION says, "cut your body with ROCKS (crack)".
Many times when you try to tell some of those young people about the devastating effects and hypnotic suggestion in some of those rap lyrics glorifying crack-dealing and violence against one another, they'll tell you, "its just music...keeping it real...its just how it is in the hood (tombs)". LEGION says, "what do you want with me....don't torment me!" But its not our children that are evil, its the spirit...or better yet....LEGION of spirits that have free reign to enter into the STATE-OF-MIND of our children and have them speaking horribly to each other as well as to adults, harming themselves and other, rejecting what would be common-sense, unrestrainable, disturbed, and in the midst of self-loathing and low self-esteem, sagging their pants as if that were normal dress. LEGION. But after Jesus had healed the man, he was found "speaking normally and dressed in decent clothing."
Its time that we call things for what they are. Or better yet...CALL THEM OUT!
What spirits have taken refuge within your mind? What have they told you about yourself? Do they speak to you and tell you to believe in yourself...that you can do anything....ALL THINGS...to believe in the power within you that is greater than any power outside of you? Or is it reminding you of past mistakes, past missteps, what you lack, why you aren't good enough, why achieving your highest purpose is for others....not for you?
Does that spirit that speaks inside of you, uplift you? Or does it cause you to harm your own body (internally or externally)? When someone who cares for you, tries to tell you about what is happening to you, does the spirit inside of you tell you to tell them "What business is it of yours? Mind your own business! Don't bother me with all of that love, faith and spirit stuff!" Does it make you turn away from what you KNOW is true...is best..is your purpose?
Listen to your thoughts as if you were a 3rd party observer and identify those that are damaging you. What you hear yourself think, when you are actually monitoring the thoughts, can be enlightening...and if you begin to speak those thoughts that you identify as contrary to your true purpose, OUT OF YOUR MIND and cast them away, you will then find your purpose was right in front of you all along.
But many times its hard to do...because we try to do it all on our own. But don't go into this battle by yourself...because its just one of you....but your thoughts are MANY!
Be Healed, Be Blessed, Be Your Purpose!
Dame
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Your Personal WHY
Without a strong foundation any building is bound to fail. When I consider what it means to have a strong foundation, my mind tends to go to the Pyramids in Egypt. We’ve all seen those huge majestic structures (even if only on television) that have stood the test of time...thousands of years of time. It took a lot of people and a plenty of blood, sweat and tears, to build those pyramids. The largest one of course is the Great Pyramid of Giza. It was built over 4500 years ago, as a tomb for one of the Pharos, Khufu. It took about 14 to 20 years to build the Great Pyramid, but scientists to this day still aren’t 100% sure how the ancient Egyptians were able to do it.
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| The Great Pyramid of Giza |
How did these people, over 4500 years ago, have the technology and the willpower to move 2.3 million individual stones weighing between 25 and 80 tons each, in order to build this incredible structure? How did they bring some of those perfectly crafted stones from over 500 miles away? There are 4 sides to the Great Pyramid, and each side is about 750 feet in length, which is more than 2 football fields, and the sides are so accurate in relation to each other that the difference in the length of each side is only about 58 millimeters. How were they able to be that accurate, moving stones so heavy, that fit so perfectly together, that there is only about a half a millimeter gap between them (about 1/50th of an inch)?
How were these incredible structures able to stand the test of time (and the elements) for over 4500 years?
But how, isn’t the most important question. The most important question is WHY?
Why would so many people suffer so long, under such brutal conditions, build this tomb for the Pharaoh? The Pharaohs of Egypt were very, very powerful individuals back then...as they were basically looked upon as gods by the people of Egypt...and it was so important that the Pharaoh had a safe journey in the afterlife...journey that would last for eternity...that nothing...no time...no wind....no heat...no blood, no sweat, nor tears, would stop them from accomplishing this goal.
Its chilling to think about what that means...to have a purpose so strong...to be willing to do whatever it takes, for as long as it takes...through pain and suffering...to make one’s vision a reality.
Everything that you build, everything that you create, began as a vision in your mind, and from that vision it became part of your physical reality. But where is the foundation of your building, of your creation? Is it the vision..the dream...the idea?
We think of a foundation as the base of something that has been constructed. The larger the construction...the building...the creation...the deeper and more secure the foundation must be. And just like the Great Pyramid of Giza, or any building, or any creation for that matter, the true foundation isn’t measured in length or width. It’s measured in DEPTH...but not in feet or meters...but in the DEPTH OF THE WHY.
We are all trying to build something. Most of us are trying to build a successful future, some a trying to build wealth, some fame, some a successful career in their field of endeavor...some aspire to be doctors, architects, graphic designers, authors, teachers, bakers, hair stylists. Many of these businesses or careers require many years of school and training, many long nights and tough days, some disappointments, some pain, some struggle, some doubt, some fear, some blood, some sweat, and yes, some tears. You take in information about your craft, you go to seminars, you read books on your craft, you watch videos, you get around people that are doing what you want to be doing...but you do this...all of this...because you have a strong foundation. And that foundation is your WHY!
Why is the foundation of every vision, every goal, every idea, and every creation. Why do I want to make do this? What is my purpose? Why do I want to be a doctor? Do I want to be a doctor because I’ve been told they make a lot of money? Why do I want to own a hair salon? Is it because I really enjoy hair styling, or because I just know HOW to do it and I might as well? Why do I work here...do I really enjoy doing this every day? Or am I here because I don’t have a better alternative for what I want to be doing with my life? Am I here, because I want to be, or because I’m afraid of not being here?
Your WHY is personal. It’s for YOU. Because your WHY, is your foundation for what you are building in your life. It’s the foundation for everything you do...because there is a purpose to everything you do...whether you are consciously aware of that purpose or not.
But just as all foundations aren’t built the same...and every building that is built isn’t necessarily sitting on a strong one...the same is true for YOUR foundation...YOUR why. A building that is on a weak foundation is susceptible to the wind, the rain, the elements...it buckles under the blood, sweat and tears of its creation and can crash to the ground before it ever becomes tall and majestic...or perhaps the building is sitting on a soggy foundation...so the building never gets beyond the planning stage...and it becomes what COULD have been built...what MIGHT have been built...what SHOULD have been created...and no one would ever know...except the builder...the creator.
Imagine if those pyramids in Egypt were never there...were never built...just sand dunes and nothingness for as far as the eye can see. Never missed...because you cannot miss something that has never been experienced, never created.
Or imagine if those pyramids were not built with such a strong foundation....without such a deep and powerful purpose to the builder. Perhaps the stones would not be so perfectly carved...and it wouldn’t matter that they fit so closely together....if the purpose was weak...then maybe the ancient Egyptians don’t travel 500 miles just to get the perfect type of stone for the Pharaoh’s chamber....the stones they already had would do just fine. So over 100 years, the wind and sand eroded the pyramid to a pile of gravel....with just some of the physical foundation remaining. “I wonder what they were trying to do here”, we would say 4400 years later, “...would have been a pretty big building...if they had only finished it....”
The strength of your resolve, of your will, of your effort, of your perseverance to make the vision you have for your life a reality is only as strong as its foundation...your personal WHY. Your purpose.
So, what is your WHY? Your purpose for what you want out of life. Do you want to help people? Do you want your name to be remembered? Do you want build something that will be an example for others...for yourself? Do you want to be rich? Do you want fame? Is your purpose materialistic? Is it monetary only? What are you giving? Are you providing opportunities for others? Are you building something for your children to carry on? Are you helping your community? What is it that makes you do this? Think about it, do you have a why?
We all know plenty of people...(really..too many) who’s sole purpose for creating something is only to make money...and they haven't considered it beyond that. Their purpose is to have more than someone else...so they can have more stuff than someone else...as to show and talk about it to EVERYONE else. There is nothing wrong with making money...we all need money (at least right now, more on that in another post), but money is only a tool...it isn’t a purpose....it isn’t a why. And if an person’s WHY is only to have more of something than someone else, then their foundation is a weak one, as they will step on, deceive, and manipulate anyone and everything to get ahead, and when they find themselves where they thought they wanted to be...they find themselves there alone...with a crowd....always looking over their shoulder, afraid that someone will take away their beloved stuff.
We all know that money comes and goes, like the wind. So if your foundation is only money, it will crumble and fall WITH THE WIND.
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| A building in China...it was not on a strong foundation. |
But your WHY has to be so strong, that nothing can tear it down. Your WHY has to be so wide that the wind, rain and floods can’t wash it away. A WHY so long that the blood, sweat and tears of the journey can’t erode it. So deep, that people around you will wonder...like they are still wondering with those pyramids...HOW was she, a single parent with 3 kids, able to be successful after going through so much turmoil, with no help from her child’s father, wondering how she was going to pay the rent...but kept going and her book is number one on the NY Times Best Seller list.
Matthew 7:25... The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.
I just want to encourage you today, that your personal WHY...your personal foundation...is what will give you the motivation, when times get tough and you want to quit...when they don’t return your phone calls....when they don’t show up for the seminars...when they stand you up...when the books don’t fly off the shelves...your why will keep you pressing through any recession, even a double dip....because your why is deeper.
And your why is what will keep you building...when the task seems too much, too difficult, too stressful to complete. Your why will make you get up when you don’t feel like getting up. Your why will make you knock on that next door, when the last 20 have been slammed in your face.
But your WHY has to be strong enough, wide enough, deep enough. Its your why...your purpose...and no one else can judge your why, or tell you your purpose isn't strong enough...isn't good enough...that's something YOU determine. Is your why strong enough to keep you going...or too weak to ever start...or finish?
Finish what you started, just keep in mind why you started in the first place.
Dame
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